Nightmare Ending

Nightmare Ending

Picture Curtsey : Healthtoday.com

Today, the morning started a bit early for me. The excitement makes a person more enthusiastic for life. Yes, it is a big day for me. Being a mother, you always find your dreams in your kids’ dreams, your accomplishments in their accomplishments. Even though, I am a professor and independent woman, but still I find my achievement in my kid’s achievements. Today my son, Nishit’s 12th standard result is expected to be declared.

Being a professor, everyone expects that my child would do best in studies. Yes, they are correct. I believe in this too. If I cannot shape my child’s future to the best, how can I do the same for other’s kids?

My big days always proceed with a prayer at Ganpati temple.

‘Goodmorning Bhabiji! Today Nishit’s result is expected,’ my neighbour said.

‘Yes! That’s why I am going to Ganpati temple to pray for his result.’

‘Don’t worry. He will defiantly top the exam. Your hard work will not go in vain.’

‘Yes! Last three-year were a bit tedious for me. Keeping the only son away from oneself, at a very tender age, is emotionally torturous, but for his future every sacrifice is small.’

‘You are a great mother.’

‘Thanks a lot. Well, I need to call Nishit. See you after result.’

#

‘My dear son! Today your result is expected, how are you feeling?’

‘Yes mom,’ he replied with a very low voice. I was expecting his chirping voice over the phone and as exciting as mine.

Nishit been a very vivacious kid since childhood but maturity in him arrived so early. 

He becomes a mature and disciplined kid before his age. I never wanted to accept this change in him, but this change was good for his future.

‘Why are you so low? Don’t worry, you are going to top the exam.’ I tried to sooth him because I knew, after the result, he will chirp. Even people around him too will celebrate his success.

‘Hmm’

‘Are you at coaching centre?’

‘Yes, mom!’

‘Ok! Call me once the result is out. I am too having an eye on your result.

‘What happen to Nishit? Is he fine?’ Amit asked to me.

‘He is fine, but bit nervous for the result.’

‘Sunita, I know you want best for your son, but only one thing I want to say is – don’t overburden him with your expectations. He is too tender for all these expectations.’ Amit has always been too protective for Nishit.

‘He is not a little boy, but a mature and a disciplined boy who cares for his future.’

‘He never opposes you, does not means he likes the way he is following.’

‘You wanted to say that I am a Hitler.’

‘I wanted to say that don’t snatch his childhood on the name of future, which is not yet here.’

‘If he gets merit, will it be wrong for him.’

‘What if he missed it by few numbers? He knows that you wanted to see his name on the newspaper as a topper. If he will not fulfil, what you expected; He will get shattered.’

‘I am not expecting anything. I just know that he deserves it.’

‘Let him give the scope to evaluate and decide, what he wanted. Don’t enforce him your desire.’

‘Just to show off your motherhood, don’t snatch his childhood.’

I was so stiff with my thought process that I ignored Amit’s words.

Tring! Tring!

Amit, come fast. This must be Nishit’s call. The result must have been announced.

‘Hello, Nishit! Have you top the state?’

‘Sorry, Mam! It’s me, Nishit’s Hostel’s warden.’

‘What happened?’

‘Mam! Can Amit sir and you come to the hostel?’

‘Please tell me, what happened? Is everything fine? Is Nishit fine?’ I was horrified by warden’s tensed voice.

‘Nishit is hospitalised. He tried to commit suicide.’ I became numb as someone had broken my dream.

‘Please take care of him and give him the best treatment. We will reach within four hours.’

#

Those four hours seems to be the decades for Amit and me. As we reached to the City Hospital the Doctor said, ‘Mr and Mrs Sharma! We did not become able to save your son.

My biggest day turned into the worst day of my life. My whole world shattered like a sand castle. How it kills you when you are front of your child’s dead body...... I think I have no words to explain.

Those little eyes will never blink again. That cute chatterbox will never utter a word. Those little hands will never urge to play the tabla. 

‘Mr and Mrs Sharma, It’s the suicide note, which Nishit write before committing suicide,’ Nishit’s hostel warden handed over those last words of my son.

I opened that with shivering hands.

############################

Dear Mom and Dad!

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

I haven’t been up to your expectation. I missed the merit by two marks. You always fulfilled my requirement, but I haven’t. You have spent so much to my studies, but I just could not become able to give you what I should have.

A kid like me, do not deserve parents like you, and I do not deserve this life too.

###########################

You were true Amit. Now there is no future for my son. I snatched his childhood, I snatched his dream, and I killed my son. Amit! I am a murderer. I fainted and dropped on the floor. Everything was blank around me and the letter flew away from my hands as my Nishit flew away from my life.

###

‘Amit! Please bring back my son. I beg you, God, Please give me back my son.’ 

‘Stop crying Sunita. What happened to you? Why are you crying? Nishit is at his hostel. Have you seen some nightmare?’

I was numb. I didn’t have any word.

‘Please take me to Nishit, I want to meet him as soon as possible.’

‘But we are going there tomorrow.’

‘Has his result announced?’

‘What happen to you? His result is expected to be announced by tomorrow.’

I took a deep breath. ‘Thank god for waking me up on right time,’ I utter to myself.

‘I want to go today. I want to meet him as soon as possible.’

‘Why are you so eager?’

‘Because I have to accomplish something, before his result is announced.’

#

We reached at Nishit’s hostel at evening. As we entered his room, he was busy in studying, even though the weather was so charming and pleasing. Also, it was the first rain of the season. Today I felt that in the rat race of future my son is losing the present.

‘Surprise!’ I screamed aloud.

‘Mom and dad! I love you.’ He hugged us as tightly as he was missing us since long. It was so long that I felt his hug so deeply. I wanted him to attach with my heart.

‘You were about to come tomorrow.’

‘Yes, but your mom wanted to be with you before your result,’ Amit replied.

‘Thanks you mom and dad. I am so nervous for the result. May be I will not get the marks, which you are expecting.’

‘Don’t worry my son. It’s ok. It’s enough for us that you gave your best, the rest of the things are upon destiny. Our duty is to give the best shot,’ I was happy inside that god gave me the opportunity to say these words to my son.

‘Thanks mom for being so cooperative.’

I put his head on my lap. It was so long that I comb his hairs with my fingers. I saw his face so closely.

‘Mom! What is in this big box?’

‘Guess.’

‘This must be more books for Medical entrance exams.’

I was so ashamed of myself that how rigorously I conditioned his mind toward studies, books, future.

‘Open it!’

‘Oh my god. It’s a Tabla.’

‘Thank you, mom and dad. It’s the world’s greatest gift for me.’ He was happy to get his lost asset which he was forced to lose in his childhood.

‘One more gift we have for you,’ I said with the determined voice.

‘We want you to come with us and take admission in your old school. Your old buddies are waiting for you.’

‘And, what about the coaching and everything here?’ Nishit was surprised by my new avatar.

‘We want you to join the evening table classes because I think this is your ultimate goal of life, which makes you happiest in this world.’

‘Now, I want you to do what you wanted, not that what we expected from you.’ Nishit hugged me tightly and started crying with happiness.

I never saw him so happy. Really, that nightmare ended my family’s nightmare. 

Today, I pray to The God that no parent should face in real, what I see in my nightmare.